To The Couple I Saw Today
Sitting, observing from my car while stuck in traffic, just outside the fancy restaurant you had just exited, I beheld the beautiful moment the two of you shared. You appeared to be enjoying the end of what I surmised was an anniversary dinner, whether it was a 20-year or 10-year celebration I could not tell.
At your table, I witnessed the charming warmth emanating from you both, while you sipped wine and flirted with each other during this evanescent occasion. Your man, holding you gently by your shoulders and keeping you at arm's length, gazed at you with deep admiration and love, appreciating your beauty and grace. It was a moment of pure desire and admiration and I felt fortunate enough to experience it alongside you.
I was filled with joy to see the love and passion that existed between you and your partner. However, my happiness was short-lived as tears started streaming down my face. I couldn't help feeling envious of what you had.
I yearned to experience the same level of attention from my ex-wife. No matter how much I pleaded, reasoned or sought counseling, she never looked at me with the same desire that your wife had. All I craved for was to feel wanted and not be rejected when I tried to initiate intimacy. I longed to see the same raw passion in her eyes that I saw in yours.
Instead, after a romantic dinner, she would just relax on the couch with her tea and phone, leaving me feeling neglected. Despite her promises to change, stop drinking, prioritize our relationship and seek help from a doctor, nothing ever changed, it was just the same old routine. Following our breakup, I inquired as to why my partner did not consider me enough for her. She retorted by saying that I did not meet her standards in which she intentionally made efforts to end our union. I was infuriated.
Daren seems to have it all - looks, finances, and an abundance of business connections. I have no idea how long they were involved in a romantic affair. However, Daren will never put in the level of commitment or sacrifices that I have routinely demonstrated during our relationship.
My ex-wife's insatiable desire for money and the perpetual drama associated with her family, in addition to our lack of emotional intimacy and sexual attraction, have left me feeling disillusioned. I am convinced that she never had any authentic affection for me, to begin with. I simply happened to be in the right place at the right time after a previous breakup. I was, in essence, the designated fall guy - the foolishly hopeful individual who refused to acknowledge reality and only saw what he wanted to see.
With tears streaming down my face, I listened to my son talk excitedly about something that happened at school. Yet, his words were indistinct as I struggled to process my emotions. He remained blissfully unaware of the turmoil within me caused by my divorce and I hoped that he would never find out the reason for it.
The prospect of beginning anew causes me great nervousness, as my inherent fragility magnifies pessimistic thoughts and intensifies feelings of uncertainty about my physical appearance and unmet sexual yearnings, all of which have had an immediate impact on my existence. Despite my former self possessing a strong sense of self-assurance and conviction, my marriage has left me in a despondent and reliant state.
My past wild and uninhibited nature was now stained with shame. Observing the way your wife looked at you filled me with hope that someone would one day have those same feelings about me. The memory of that moment would always hold a special place in my heart.
Note*letters displayed are independently chosen by Steve Wick's editorial team.
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