Initially, I brushed off her comments with laughter, but during her pregnancy, she became increasingly vocal about her concerns, insisting that I shouldn't hold the baby due to my clumsiness.
My wife frequently points out my clumsiness, and I can't deny it—there are times when I accidentally knock things over without realizing it. However, I wouldn't say it's a daily occurrence. Initially, I brushed off her comments with laughter, but during her pregnancy, she became increasingly vocal about her concerns, insisting that I shouldn't hold the baby due to my clumsiness. I would chuckle at her worries, but when I took her seriously, I reminded her that there's a significant difference between misplacing the TV remote and dropping a child.
I didn't dwell on it much until our baby arrived. To my surprise, she was extremely hesitant to let me hold our newborn in the hospital. I could see her anxiety whenever I was near the baby, which led to numerous arguments that have persisted since then. Now, a few months later, I've only managed to hold my child a handful of times, including that one moment in the hospital.
My wife frequently points out my clumsiness, and I can't deny it—there are times when I accidentally knock things over without realizing it. However, I wouldn't say it's a daily occurrence. Initially, I brushed off her comments with laughter, but during her pregnancy, she became increasingly vocal about her concerns, insisting that I shouldn't hold the baby due to my clumsiness. I would chuckle at her worries, but when I took her seriously, I reminded her that there's a significant difference between misplacing the TV remote and dropping a child.
I didn't dwell on it much until our baby arrived. To my surprise, she was extremely hesitant to let me hold our newborn in the hospital. I could see her anxiety whenever I was near the baby, which led to numerous arguments that have persisted since then. Now, a few months later, I've only managed to hold my child a handful of times, including that one moment in the hospital.
She now sleeps in the other bedroom with the baby and won’t even let me hold my own daughter, even when I’m sitting safely on the bed where there’s no chance of her getting hurt, even if I accidentally dropped her. It feels like she rarely leaves our daughter alone with me.
I proposed using a child carrier for walks, but she dismissed that idea too, often claiming I might trip and fall face-first.
I believe she’s overreacting, and I’ve suggested we go to therapy together, but her response was always sarcastic and negative.
She constantly tells me that if I ever hold our child, I could be the reason something terrible happens, insisting that as a father, I should understand the risks and just go along with her wishes.
This situation has deeply impacted me, making me increasingly self-aware. Whenever I make a mistake, she points it out as evidence that her perspective is correct.
I usually pride myself on being calm and a pacifist. Even during our arguments, I've attempted to communicate and find common ground, but I've come to realize that it simply doesn't exist. My love for my wife and child surpasses my own needs, yet I find it unbearable that I can't even hold my child, play with her, or take her for walks.
Just the other night, after a disagreement, I quietly entered our daughter's room while my wife was asleep. I didn't pick her up; I merely held her hand and gazed at her. I felt overwhelmed with emotion and whispered a few words to her, knowing she couldn't hear or comprehend them.
Unfortunately, this stirred my wife awake, and she reacted with a scream before demanding that I leave the room. I explained that I only wanted to see our daughter and hold her hand, but she accused me of being selfish and ignorant. In that moment, I lost my temper and unleashed all the frustration I had bottled up over the past two months.
I reached out to a coworker for advice because my home situation has become unbearable. She mentioned that my wife is exhibiting troubling signs of postpartum anxiety. This anxiety is hindering my ability to bond with and care for our child. I genuinely want to resolve our issues and restore our family, but I'm uncertain if she’s open to having that conversation.
I regret my behavior from that night deeply. Currently, I'm staying at a hotel since she asked me to leave the following morning. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to argue, so I simply walked away.
I can’t seem to move past everything that’s transpired. Despite the pain it brings, I’m starting to think that parting ways might be the best option.
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