To My Dearest Sugarplum
This time, I've given it a lot of thought. I've considered giving you another chance, but I've limited my thoughts to just holding your kiss a little longer, asking you more questions about you, and paying more attention to the details of you. I was afraid to look too long the first time because you felt like a vacuum sucking me in and I felt like I had to hold onto the walls around me to stay safe. I couldn't stand looking at you for too long because I knew I'd find more things to cherish, things that would inevitably make you harder to let go of. I'm sorry I had those thoughts so quickly.
In my dreams, we let go, embrace, and speak the words that have been tucked away in the back of our mouths. Allow me to say it this time. Yes, I would hug you tighter and kiss you longer. Most importantly, I would share my thoughts with you, learn more about you, tell you that this separation was difficult for me, that I regret how I handled it, and ask you how you feel. I crave a togetherness we were never brave enough to allow, not your body, though the thought of you is electric.
I want to be your confidante, the hand you clutch, and the source of your laughter. I want to steal kisses and tickle your neck while you're driving. I want to feel secure in my feelings for you, and I want you to believe you can love me. Let us be brave this time.
Your Precious Lovebug
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